I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I did not marry a roomba.
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