I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize