if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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