"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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