What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
