i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
