I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
