WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
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