is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
