I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
