and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
