That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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