your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
