i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
