Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Randomize
