Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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