You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I just want to make out with him forever
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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