i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
honey bunches of taint.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
