My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
