so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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