you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize