i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
