dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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