That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
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