I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
