At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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