That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
