Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
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Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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