Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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