just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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