If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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