I think my fart just growled at me.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
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