i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Randomize
