remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
