Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
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