he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize