i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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