He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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