i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
