Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
