I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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