I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
