So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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