Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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