so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
