did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
