Kareoke will never be a sober sport
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
