why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
