I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
He uses pillows to masturbate.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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