So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
