i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
