Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
