Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
