She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
