why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
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It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
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I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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