so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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