Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I believe in your delicious
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
