The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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