when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
