he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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